.a written note.

I do not remember by whom but I've been told to learn from my own mistakes. I don't remember the speaker, but I've been comforted and told it's okay to make mistakes in the first place. Some flashbacks are meant to recur. But I am having trouble with recalling everything that I was once surrounded by. The most I can remember is the days I tried to speak to brother and that one evening when I actually did speak with him. Monsoon had just started. It would rain once or twice a week or sometimes every day. Somewhere during the time when it rained, I'd be quiet from the inside for I knew I wasn't getting drenched like I always do. Somewhere I'd know why rain failed to brighten me up like that star shining from within residing beside the moon. I would just get wet instead. That's all I remember. My convincing myself of the capability when brother was about to leave. "It's over", I started, "I just wanted to let you know that."...

Maybe this is because life currently has become steadily non-happening and so I walk in circles these days, without coming to a halt. I find myself sleeping for more hours than I usually do and probably need. I must be going to sleep feeling longing for something or nothing at all for I feel even number when I wake up. I have things to do but I've kept most of them away for a while. I have friends to meet but I don't go out lately. When I do, its with my cousin brother. The fresh street and head lights add a specific feel to the pretty, happy and busy faces I see on my way and I am just shown another side of my mood that doesn't last long; a feeling as I reach home, knowing I'll again be the same person enjoying solitude. The time spent playing old games with the ones I have blood relations with put me at ease somehow and I suddenly miss my family. My own people. They're there in front of me but I end up missing them more than ever. I remember how I was brough...