.a written note.

On some nights like this, to sleep won't be all that I would want. It will be something I wouldn't mind getting but there are many more and other things under the sun that I am still awaiting. I have come here, already decided, to communicate tonight. I write here. And you have to believe that I do not know the reason as to why I do that. Why I write. I've been travelling a lot lately and I've succeeded in not allowing the landscapes making me go hollow, deep in the belly of my thoughts. Some of those who read here, seldom ask me of the solitude they feel. I haven't yet decided on putting solitude in words to begin with. Not yet. Why haven't I written words of joy, they wonder. Perhaps it's just me who goes up there via this route. Solitude, as they call it. I'm thinking of writing stories about others, and by others, I mean, those whom you haven't met yet. I have met you in certain ways, though I'm unsure we both have met each other at t...

I assume days are passing by and soon it'll be my last day here. With her. The one who calls me her best friend, in its each definition, with as much proud as possible. Sometimes I wonder whether I even understand the reasons behind such proud. She, being the kind of a girl any family would love to have, any stranger would like to meet, doesn't stop letting me know what I mean to her each time we converse. I, being a troublemaker most of the times, like the idea of believing her when she speaks of the place I own in her life and the value she holds for me and more importantly, the idea of believing that I deserve it. We lived our togetherness as much as we could and we're still in the same phase. Its not hunger to grab something that's been away and is now dished in front of you. It is an accomplishment, whatever it means. Of the wait until now. Of making it through the tough times and making yet another precious memories again. As we make our way to this pla...

And we spend the next few days roaming and laughing around, talking about things, people, spending time with each other. Like we used to. All the time, when we lived in the same city. We walk. Walk a few kilometers. There's that something different in the breeze ever since I came to meet her. Something that tells us not to recall the sadness we went through some time ago. Something that tells us to live the present. And we behave accordingly. We don't want to recall the only bad time ever since we became friends. We kind of made our way through it and maybe, maybe that's why I'm now feeling that freshness in the winds today. We reach here at this garden. She speaks of her life on our way, her voice, favourite of everyone I know, adds a joyous finishing touch to every thought of mine. The freshness somehow assures me that no matter what happens from now on, with life, nothing can ever be that bad. As today, if I'm able to notice the beauty I can't see but f...

And there she is. N. Standing in the crowd. Her eyes reflecting the eagerness as she waits for me. I see her. She hugs me. Hugs me tight. The glow her face becomes full of, she smiles. Spreading her own beauty all over her face. I continue seeing her. Not just her, I can see what she's become throughout the time she's been away. That's where I take a wrong turn. She hasn't been away. She's been somewhere completely her kind. In a metro city. Full of happening things. She hasn't been much simple, I remember. N and J talk for a while. Both smiling constantly. I don't understand why. We wave J bye as she has some work to do and we head towards N's place. On our way, I guess either my jokes have improved or she's too happy. She giggles. A lot. Still not believing I've come for her. Oh, how happy she is! Probably more than I am. So many plans she has for us. We reach her place within a few minutes and we spend the next two hours laughing. Abou...

The first week of yet another new year. Somehow, the child in me keeps quiet and I do realize things don't remotely get better just because a new year begins. They will if I keep myself positive. Like everything seems beautiful, if I seek the beauty everywhere, in everything. J arrives in the city. Having met just after two months, though it feels like ages, makes everything so happening. I can see a specific glow on her perfect face. A glow of getting better, having made it through the hardest times of her life. But I see she's now skinnier. And so she makes me listen every complaint she has regarding her hostel-mess. Everything is just the same. Her voice, tone, her expressions. She's become strong. A strong lady rather than a girl. And the way she feels safe saying to me that I was there when she needed a shelter, makes me feel accomplished. We talk, we laugh, exchange tons of high-fives all the time we're together. She raises her thumb up, smiling like the l...

Another day. Another morning. I wake up, after 12 hours of sleep. Last night didn't do any less than becoming my companion. My only companion despite everything and anything that's been happening in this period of time. A little too much happening it has become, I notice. I recall a noon. A noon, when my best friend, N had said, "Life, presently, has become way too boring, really! There has to be something happening . I strongly wish for something exciting and fun." I could see how even the thought of doing something exciting brightened her up. "Espcially now, as we'll practically be away within a few days..", she added letting sadness fill her face, her fair cheeks and also those small eyes. I could feel it, seeing her. Now, after almost one and a half years since she went, it feels like the wish for something happening has come true, so what if its happening in a negative way, I think, trying to convince myself. A hot bath comes and goes...