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Saturday, 24 December 2011

Evolvin' bonds

Another day. Another morning. I wake up, after 12 hours of sleep. Last night didn't do any less than becoming my companion. My only companion despite everything and anything that's been happening in this period of time. A little too much happening it has become, I notice.

I recall a noon. A noon, when my best friend, N had said, "Life, presently, has become way too boring, really! There has to be something happening. I strongly wish for something exciting and fun." I could see how even the thought of doing something exciting brightened her up. "Espcially now, as we'll practically be away within a few days..", she added letting sadness fill her face, her fair cheeks and also those small eyes. I could feel it, seeing her. Now, after almost one and a half years since she went, it feels like the wish for something happening has come true, so what if its happening in a negative way, I think, trying to convince myself.

A hot bath comes and goes like just another morning thing, waking me as well as my body up, trying to activate me physically. It fails refreshing my lungs and veins inwardly, I feel, as there seems no change or refreshment in the thoughs I've been thinking since a number of nights. Reminding me of those few days when I used to lengthen the bath time just because it was hot and made me feel warm inwardly. As I come out of shower, I see my granny sitting outside and actually enjoying the hot air specially after a cold Indian night, knitting a Purple sweater, probably to gift someone. The way her wet shiny white hair form a coordination with one another, letting the fresh air dry themselves. The way she knits without her spectacles on. The way that Purple coloured something seems to be forming a new big shape every two minutes, having started from just a woolen thread and now turning into a cloth. A cloth that'll provide someone with warmth and her love in cold, inspires me. Despite everything.

I don't understand why.

12 comments:

  1. When I had to be separated from my best friend I was devastated. She is a continent away and we're both stranded. Until I saved up for a plane ticket to Germany to see her. That's how you make it happen.

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  2. @les jeune fille à les oiseaux: Yes, time heals. Sometimes it doesn't.

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  3. No, I wasn't suggesting that time heals, because often times it never does. What healed was my initiative to go and see her. The saving up, the buying of the plane ticket - those actions gave me hope. It will still be devastating when I leave and come back, but then the actions of re-saving up, getting excited to travel abroad again, our adventures we might have together, will ease any pain back into submission. I suppose it's more of the future healing than time healing any wounds of the past.

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  4. @les jeune fille à les oiseaux: Yes, I completely understand. Strongly agreed with you on "often times it never does."
    Glad to know the things you did that gave you hope. I try the same. Sometimes in different ways, though.

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  5. I love the way you write , or have I told you that already? :)
    I love the part about granny, it reminds me obliquely of my own grandmom. :)
    And love is a confusing thing I believe. Sometimes it gives you a ridiculous amount of warmth and then there is this phase of bitter coldness. Strange.

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  6. @Crystal: Yes, you've told me that before but hearing that again doesn't please me any LESS! Thank you really very much!
    Love, is confusing, yes and still its wanted and needed everywhere. Maybe, that's what defines it.
    Love! :)

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  7. Soaking in hot water.. hoping that it soaks away all that eats up our minds..

    It's lovely to watch grandmother's lost in their own worlds. They are just so contended with the way their lives are..

    Time does heal everything. I hope so.

    Merry Christmas :)

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  8. Time doesn't heal everything completely... there will always be scars but those scars remind us of the past so we can move on to the future.
    You write beautifully my friend. Thanks for following my blog. I'll follow you to now if I'm not already.

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  9. @Philo: Yeah mate, they have their own way in which they have led their lives so far and still leading it! Their experience and struggles throughout their lives reflects through their simple gestures and activities, according to me! :)
    Merry Christmas to you too :)

    @Skinnybusiness: Strongly agreed with you about the scars thing. Sometimes, only sometimes scars don't make any difference eventually.
    Thank you for the compliment. I appreciate it.. and yes, you're most welcome! :)

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  10. The account of your grandma unknowinlgy made me smile.
    I was filled with joy for a brief moment, knowing that simplicity still exists. To stay away from your best friend can be painful, but sometimes there's nothing you can do about it :/

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Let the soul in you speak. :)

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