Of Moving Forward- Part II
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Sitting here, I wonder if it's about seeing in the mirror and liking what I see. 'Your eyes speak', they say. With every look of myself I get everytime I see, they, my eyes, seem to want to confront me. With all my honesty, I say, I run away from them. I try to. But the next time, everytime, it's a sensation of their coming toward me more hurriedly.
They must be knowing the truth behind all the lies under the Sun I may have happened to tell myself in order to keep going. It's what I am used to do. To keep going, not knowing how far but far still. I am not used to the comfort there is in stopping for a moment or two. The comfort doesn't comfort me enough, although the view of it I get is inviting and tempting.
I do not like the idea of walking the carpet that could take me somewhere I may be told I could dream. It doesn't completely satisfy me, being somewhere for a long time where there is everything I like. Going somewhere for a while where they may think I could find my soul.
Because the smoothness of the carpet could only soften my feet whose beauty, I believe, is having come through thick and thin. To be given everything I like only to limit the growth of my desires. And being told what I could find, only to prove wrong a grownup that I am.
I refuse softening my feet. I refuse being told possibilities of what I could find. My soul? I myself am a soul. I just have to know how does it reside in this body. I just have to recognize the intensity of the failure when I fail expressing how I feel. It only makes me write this on a paper, with a red marker. Only to show that anger is taking place. Somewhere within me.
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Your writings are full of raw intensity...sharp edged words....honesty personified....good one !!!
ReplyDeleteLike I say, the readers know me real well. Thank you very much, it was inspiring. :)
DeleteI agree with Green Speck... there are some major raw emotions going on and you portray them very well in your writing! It's beautiful. Favorite line, "I myself am a soul."
ReplyDeleteHey, thank you so much, Crystal. I'm glad you liked that! :)
DeleteBeautiful picture!
ReplyDeleteWe love your blog!
<3
That sure does inspire me. A LOT. :)
DeleteIt represents the DREAMER in YOU.. AWesomest... <3
ReplyDeleteIts been a pleasure to get a feedback from you, mate. Thank you very much. :)
DeleteI've never seen a Writer as True+Lovely+Bright+ReFreshing as You... :)
ReplyDeletePleasure. Pure pleasure to read this. <3
DeleteAgree with everyone above :)
ReplyDeleteThe way you transform these thoughts into words, it's brilliant, and so easy to connect to!
Thank you so much, Kiara. Really. :)
DeleteMy father--deaf-blind--never saw himself in a mirror. However he 'knew' himself. A happy man. A farmer who loved animals, children, and life. Two nuns wrote book about him after he died "Living With Joy".
ReplyDeleteHey, you did the leaf illustration at the top? I love the transparency where they overlap. You are as talented in art, as with words, Ma'am.
Shopping at a mall, I also love. Not the shopping itself, but watching the Peeps. In the past I would look away, never in the eyes of another, I hated the world, the Universe, God, People, everything. NOW look everyone right in the eyes (like you look in mirror!--grin!).
Hope you don't mind I do not spend time telling you how GOOD writer and artist, and photographer you are--because you ARE. And so I just comment. But please KNOW...that I KNOW...how good you are! And appreciated by your Peeps--I read their comments. it is wonderful to be in a sisterhood like that.
Hey, been here long enough, gotta go now. I think Izdiher is only one of your friends who is my friend also. She is special.
PEACE
Your friend,
Steve
Oh, I haven't done the illustration part. I'd been searching for such a picture, a vintage on, for so long.
DeleteThis is so great. To know so many things from you. You know what, I really look forward to converse with you someday. Did I already mention that?
The biggest 'thank you' ever. Thank YOU. :)
The clarity of thoughts and the way you carved them into something beautiful is awesome.
ReplyDeleteWait a minute, I will refer the dictionary and find a appropriate synonym for your writing.
I thought you were busy with something called 'Studies'. Aren't you ?
#JustCurious
Thank you so much, Ajay. :)
DeleteGo on with your curiosity.
#JustSuggesting. :P
After all experience teaches, while we discover ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI loved this bit 'I myself am a soul.'
How true is that!
DeleteThank you, Lubaina! :)
a pinch of philosophy,
ReplyDeletemaybe emotions split apart by shreds of anger, nevertheless outcome is a deep thought :P
Thank you. :)
DeleteNice thought
ReplyDeleteThank you. :)
DeleteHmm worth pondering over...
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
Deletenice post.
ReplyDeleteexperiences is a teacher.
It sure is.
DeleteThank you. :)
I like it here. Your words are very peaceful :) *
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you like it here. Welcome. :)
DeleteThank you! :)
:)
ReplyDeleteThe text is really amazing and i love the photo too!
ReplyDeleteFlights and Dreams
Thank you. :)
DeleteWhat did you do to my feelings....
ReplyDeleteLove the picture, btw.
I hope I did them some good. :)
DeleteThank you. :)
Simply best.. :) :)
ReplyDeleteThank you. :)
Deletebeautiful post!
ReplyDelete<3
ps. you can now win a $50 giftcard of The Dark Horse Jewellery on our blog!
Thank you, Hanna. :)
DeleteOh, these are more than just words, for I felt so much as I read them.
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely Sunday.
LOVE!
Thank you very much, Tywo. :)
DeleteNice writing! Thanks for your comment on my blog! Look forward to see you more often:)
ReplyDeleteThank you.. yes, you're welcome. :)
DeleteEverytime I try to find what my eyes have to say, I blink. And then I run away.
ReplyDeleteAcceptance, facing the truth, the reality brings us to recognize ourselves. Difficult it is :)
Beautiful piece.. And the picture. The eyes are lovely :)
So true!
DeleteThis means a lot, Philo. Thank you so much.. :)
You recently left a short note on my blog. I thank you. I have been reading your posts today as far back as four pages. Your world, your emotions, and sense of self are fascinating. I apologize for not leaving individual comments (which I usually do; as a way of letting the owner of the blog know which entries I've been in) on the posts; I somehow find it hard to do it because of the intensity and sense of intimacy of the contents; they're art, but more than art, they are glimpses into a soul. You don't really critique the composition or language usage of a soul. But know that I will keep coming back to this blog and savor your rich offerings. And pray that you continue to live in beauty and grace. And more inspiration.
ReplyDeleteI'm speechless here, Iris. How true is that, words are really the glimpses into a soul. Fortunately I 'try' to write them here. And I'm really glad that you thought of them as good. You're welcome here, I'd love to know from you.
DeleteLove. :)
Lovely post. Loved the way you have put down your thought process (if I might say so) in these two parts.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Nikita. :)
DeleteWatch out for that anger, it can eat you alive.
ReplyDelete/ Avy
http://MyMotherFuckedMickJagger.blogspot.com
♥
I will. :)
DeleteYour writing is just amazing!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, I appreciate that! :)
DeleteI have missed your blog. MORE than you missed mine. I really missed reading a sublime flow of words, not intended to put something negative or harsh.
ReplyDeleteI love the last paragraph btw. That little journey of discovering your soul inside your soul. Beautiful :)
NO, I've missed yours! And I'm ready to fight with you over that. Because I'm confident!
DeleteThank you, Crystal. Not for the appreciation but for getting back. Your presence matters. <3
And thank you, now, for the appreciation. :)
I agree in refusing the softening of your feet!! the journey is difficult, and we need them to be hard enought to stand the whole way! =) nice writing, and congratulations for your blog =)
ReplyDeleteIndeed, Anne.
DeleteThank you very much, I appreciate it. :)
Thank you. :)
ReplyDeleteHaven't seen this intensity writen before. Words are like arrows!
ReplyDeleteI'd take that as a compliment. Thank you, Josh. Means a lot. :)
DeleteYou know, laughter therapy has helped me when I am angry, seriously.
ReplyDelete