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Thursday, 21 June 2012

Of Moving Forward- Part II


Sitting here, I wonder if it's about seeing in the mirror and liking what I see. 'Your eyes speak', they say. With every look of myself I get everytime I see, they, my eyes, seem to want to confront me. With all my honesty, I say, I run away from them. I try to. But the next time, everytime, it's a sensation of their coming toward me more hurriedly.
They must be knowing the truth behind all the lies under the Sun I may have happened to tell myself in order to keep going. It's what I am used to do. To keep going, not knowing how far but far still. I am not used to the comfort there is in stopping for a moment or two. The comfort doesn't comfort me enough, although the view of it I get is inviting and tempting.

I do not like the idea of walking the carpet that could take me somewhere I may be told I could dream. It doesn't completely satisfy me, being somewhere for a long time where there is everything I like. Going somewhere for a while where they may think I could find my soul.
Because the smoothness of the carpet could only soften my feet whose beauty, I believe, is having come through thick and thin. To be given everything I like only to limit the growth of my desires. And being told what I could find, only to prove wrong a grownup that I am.

I refuse softening my feet. I refuse being told possibilities of what I could find. My soul? I myself am a soul. I just have to know how does it reside in this body. I just have to recognize the intensity of the failure when I fail expressing how I feel. It only makes me write this on a paper, with a red marker. Only to show that anger is taking place. Somewhere within me.

61 comments:

  1. Your writings are full of raw intensity...sharp edged words....honesty personified....good one !!!

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    1. Like I say, the readers know me real well. Thank you very much, it was inspiring. :)

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  2. I agree with Green Speck... there are some major raw emotions going on and you portray them very well in your writing! It's beautiful. Favorite line, "I myself am a soul."

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    1. Hey, thank you so much, Crystal. I'm glad you liked that! :)

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  3. Beautiful picture!
    We love your blog!

    <3

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    1. That sure does inspire me. A LOT. :)

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  4. It represents the DREAMER in YOU.. AWesomest... <3

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    1. Its been a pleasure to get a feedback from you, mate. Thank you very much. :)

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  5. I've never seen a Writer as True+Lovely+Bright+ReFreshing as You... :)

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    1. Pleasure. Pure pleasure to read this. <3

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  6. Agree with everyone above :)
    The way you transform these thoughts into words, it's brilliant, and so easy to connect to!

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    1. Thank you so much, Kiara. Really. :)

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  7. My father--deaf-blind--never saw himself in a mirror. However he 'knew' himself. A happy man. A farmer who loved animals, children, and life. Two nuns wrote book about him after he died "Living With Joy".

    Hey, you did the leaf illustration at the top? I love the transparency where they overlap. You are as talented in art, as with words, Ma'am.

    Shopping at a mall, I also love. Not the shopping itself, but watching the Peeps. In the past I would look away, never in the eyes of another, I hated the world, the Universe, God, People, everything. NOW look everyone right in the eyes (like you look in mirror!--grin!).

    Hope you don't mind I do not spend time telling you how GOOD writer and artist, and photographer you are--because you ARE. And so I just comment. But please KNOW...that I KNOW...how good you are! And appreciated by your Peeps--I read their comments. it is wonderful to be in a sisterhood like that.

    Hey, been here long enough, gotta go now. I think Izdiher is only one of your friends who is my friend also. She is special.

    PEACE
    Your friend,
    Steve

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    1. Oh, I haven't done the illustration part. I'd been searching for such a picture, a vintage on, for so long.

      This is so great. To know so many things from you. You know what, I really look forward to converse with you someday. Did I already mention that?
      The biggest 'thank you' ever. Thank YOU. :)

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  8. The clarity of thoughts and the way you carved them into something beautiful is awesome.
    Wait a minute, I will refer the dictionary and find a appropriate synonym for your writing.

    I thought you were busy with something called 'Studies'. Aren't you ?
    #JustCurious

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    1. Thank you so much, Ajay. :)

      Go on with your curiosity.
      #JustSuggesting. :P

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  9. After all experience teaches, while we discover ourselves.
    I loved this bit 'I myself am a soul.'

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    1. How true is that!

      Thank you, Lubaina! :)

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  10. a pinch of philosophy,
    maybe emotions split apart by shreds of anger, nevertheless outcome is a deep thought :P

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  11. I like it here. Your words are very peaceful :) *

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    1. I'm glad you like it here. Welcome. :)

      Thank you! :)

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  12. The text is really amazing and i love the photo too!

    Flights and Dreams

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  13. What did you do to my feelings....
    Love the picture, btw.

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    1. I hope I did them some good. :)
      Thank you. :)

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  14. beautiful post!

    <3

    ps. you can now win a $50 giftcard of The Dark Horse Jewellery on our blog!

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  15. Oh, these are more than just words, for I felt so much as I read them.
    Have a lovely Sunday.

    LOVE!

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  16. Nice writing! Thanks for your comment on my blog! Look forward to see you more often:)

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    1. Thank you.. yes, you're welcome. :)

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  17. Everytime I try to find what my eyes have to say, I blink. And then I run away.
    Acceptance, facing the truth, the reality brings us to recognize ourselves. Difficult it is :)
    Beautiful piece.. And the picture. The eyes are lovely :)

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    1. So true!
      This means a lot, Philo. Thank you so much.. :)

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  18. You recently left a short note on my blog. I thank you. I have been reading your posts today as far back as four pages. Your world, your emotions, and sense of self are fascinating. I apologize for not leaving individual comments (which I usually do; as a way of letting the owner of the blog know which entries I've been in) on the posts; I somehow find it hard to do it because of the intensity and sense of intimacy of the contents; they're art, but more than art, they are glimpses into a soul. You don't really critique the composition or language usage of a soul. But know that I will keep coming back to this blog and savor your rich offerings. And pray that you continue to live in beauty and grace. And more inspiration.

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    1. I'm speechless here, Iris. How true is that, words are really the glimpses into a soul. Fortunately I 'try' to write them here. And I'm really glad that you thought of them as good. You're welcome here, I'd love to know from you.

      Love. :)

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  19. Lovely post. Loved the way you have put down your thought process (if I might say so) in these two parts.

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  20. Watch out for that anger, it can eat you alive.

    / Avy
    http://MyMotherFuckedMickJagger.blogspot.com



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  21. Your writing is just amazing!

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    1. Thank you so much, I appreciate that! :)

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  22. I have missed your blog. MORE than you missed mine. I really missed reading a sublime flow of words, not intended to put something negative or harsh.
    I love the last paragraph btw. That little journey of discovering your soul inside your soul. Beautiful :)

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    1. NO, I've missed yours! And I'm ready to fight with you over that. Because I'm confident!
      Thank you, Crystal. Not for the appreciation but for getting back. Your presence matters. <3

      And thank you, now, for the appreciation. :)

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  23. I agree in refusing the softening of your feet!! the journey is difficult, and we need them to be hard enought to stand the whole way! =) nice writing, and congratulations for your blog =)

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    1. Indeed, Anne.

      Thank you very much, I appreciate it. :)

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  24. Haven't seen this intensity writen before. Words are like arrows!

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    1. I'd take that as a compliment. Thank you, Josh. Means a lot. :)

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  25. You know, laughter therapy has helped me when I am angry, seriously.

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Let the soul in you speak. :)

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