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Friday, 16 December 2011

Wavelengths of a mind

Hearing what mother says, getting to know something more and bad, despite the loud voices I can feel in my head right since the moment father himself spoke to me, I'm stunned. Stunned at the constant unbearable load that gets pulled over to me by myself, sometimes knowingly, unknowingly. What I hear from mother is quite expected but I don't really get how it pains more when actually heard. Its not about what happened earlier, I remember. Its about the phase I've been happening to go through, what don't seem to matter are the efforts I put in. No matter how much I try making it work and making it better, sometimes the resulting things seem to be positive and building up my confidence but somehow nothing from the beginning works and at the end, it gets worse!
Having tried many times, having seen many such ends as well, the stunnedness always feels the same, no matter what the reason is. Turning point, I think. Too many voices in the head to make ways for. Too many questions already figured and too many to ask.
But, at this time, what assures me of some comfort are usual blankets in an usual bed. Just another night I didn't really wait for but now don't want to let go of! Feels heavy, the weight of the constant thinking. But what lets me surrender myself to the bed seem, surprisingly, the lyrics from Guitar class that come randomly to mind..

Do you know what's worth fightin' for, when it's not worth dyin' for..?

4 comments:

  1. Just came across your blog :)
    You write well! Welcome to blogspot :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nothing is worth dying for if you ask me. Welcome back!

    / Avy
    http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. @♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫: Thank you for welcoming! :)

    @AVY: Yes, I feel the same. That line was real inspiring! Thank you for welcoming! :)

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  4. Heavy heads think less..and too much thinking should be avoided. :)

    ReplyDelete

Let the soul in you speak. :)

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