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Monday, 9 April 2012

Revolution- Part V

How everything it, the revolution, provides me with, leaves me with something that will never be, that could never be erased by the mature, standard fingers of this universe. I am not guarded by any thick walls anywhere around me to restrict those fingers and the way they might aim their gaze in wonder or just as I'm someone anonymous. Anonymously known. Reason may be that they assume I'm not the same person they'd seen, that they'd met anymore. I don't mind the pointed fingers and the gaze reflecting so many doubts, probably, that I know I could clear. But when I am under this dark blue sky, I don't mind keeping things unsaid and unsorted since I understand I don't need to keep a guard around myself just as to keep the inside story safe and sound, just as to beg the unknown desperation remain inside. As much as it can. As long as I'm capable.

And how, when the Moon is up, I can't be someone who I'm not. I get transferred to a place where the idea of pretending is what I'm miles away from. The darkness, the little chirping, the silence that I so wish to be endless, all arrives where I stand as per the promise and I end up thinking that some promises aren't meant to be broken. The darkness gets darker each moment, the chirping I now rarely hear and I get closer to an idea of being defended. This revolution, the process, it knows its easy to get used to this feeling of not being abandoned and perhaps it still wants to make me stronger than I've been; therefore it turns its arrival into an intention of disappearing for a while so as to prepare me for the worst at the same time.

And again I'm left with nothingness. Emptiness. Lack of feelings but still an emotion. I lie with my body trying to be and remain free. And I'm again left so silent that its a guess that satisfaction is on its way to my door. At this moment, I'm empty. I've emptied myself in a jar and had any river been flowing by this huge window, I'd have set the jar free. I am, yes, left with the silence I still wish to be endless but I'm beginning to feel that a part of me, an entirely big part of me has been set free. And the doer is none other than me. Its a guess that this is what emptiness does to one. Like when I'm accompanied by the brightest of the sunshine, I feel inside some stars shining.

20 comments:

  1. love the new design and the photo with this post!

    xo

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  2. This should be the revolution 1. Since we can't change the fact, that there are so many souls with pointed fingers and staring gazes at us.
    And yeah I have an idea, let's exchange our titles. Because what you talk about all over your blog is total faith. Tripping much, yeah? [;
    And yeah I've always been wondering about that part of me. [:

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    Replies
    1. Yes, facts can't be changed and I happen to like that truth!

      We really should exchange our titles, AGREED!

      Hope you recognize that part of yours. :)

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    2. I have recognized all mine, already. [:
      That's how I am. Accept it. [;

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  3. Your writing leaves me wondering. It is all so deep, so beautifully written :)

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad it does, because it makes me wonder too..all the while penning it down here! Thank you, Philo! :)

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  4. I suppose we all feel that way at some point or another.

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  5. It's a very thoughtful post actually- 'I can't be someone who I'm not'

    Your work is highly appreciable that too at such a young age. I hope revolution series is not just finished yet :) :)

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    Replies
    1. Very thankful.. :)

      More than series, I hope revolution itself won't end.

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  6. This really left me deep in thought.
    You've got some beautiful writing there :)
    I loved it :)

    http://ohrishagun.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so very much.. :) I'm glad you liked it!

      Delete

Let the soul in you speak. :)

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