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Saturday, 26 May 2012

On courage

I wake up as I feel vibrations and the alarm I'd set last night. I am alone here. It awakens and freshens me up within first two seconds. Its 2AM and its only been three hours of sleep but when I step on the floor, I don't feel I'm compromising anything. I drink a glass of chilled water and I know I want to make this last until the Sun rises. I get my things together and sit down on the floor. Without any mattress. I look at these four walls and I am now reminded of the same mood I used to be in over here a couple of years ago. Of books. And knowledge. The walls that seem nothing more than just walls now, would feel like my companions back then. With this pleasingly idle, breezy midnight and one of the best sounds of winds and leaves of the Palm tree together, I have the whole house to myself. As the sweat starts fading away, I again know I want to make this last until the morning. And I know it is going to be like this every night from now on.

Its time. I've known. I have to move. Yet I don't aspire to move on. I'll move forward. Because that's where I have fixed my gaze. Who has seen the future, they say. But I know I've seen the past. I have had my share in falling apart at times, but I am now making sure I begin to rise up again. I have let people take decisions for me, without me. I have been there, wherever it may be. I have done that, everything they may think I have. But here I am, tonight, willingly letting this night trap me at the center of a circle that is strength. Hopefully wanting to make the walls my companions over again.

I will walk in circles, of strength and courage unless and until I get on the right track. I will let the storm try to tame me and surround me with its wings only to realize someday that my arms are strong enough to break out and that I am alive enough to overcome. I've had enough of the ugliness that is the fear of failure. I've had my time looking ugly that way.

I look down and I know what I now have to do. It takes a moment to write on that piece of paper, completely empty, that oh darling, I can do this.
  

57 comments:

  1. Failure is never a bad thing. Never. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I fail all the time. Seriously. It's just one less way of trying out a thing.

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    Replies
    1. Its not a bad thing at all, that's for sure for it implants a will to get better and better.

      Thank you, it means a lot. :)

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  2. This is such a beautiful text! You have an amazing gift for writing and i look forward to reading your other posts! Be assured of the strength you posses <3

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    1. Those words really encouraged me, hope you know that. :)

      Thank you so very much, I appreciate it. :)

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  3. This is beautifully written!
    Yes, the future may be scary, 'cause nobody knows what's gonna happen, but we all still have to live every day of our life. I wish you happiness and love, sweetie. May your days be filled with laughters. No worries, just hope and faith. :)

    You can do it,sweetie. You can live life to the fullest!♥

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    1. That was very inspiring! :) Thank you very much, Liz. I appreciate it. A lot.

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  4. Yes, be very aware of the strength you possess.. what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. Beautiful post!

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  5. I love the way you write. Thank you so much for sharing with us such a beautiful and insightful post.
    XOXO

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    1. I'm glad you liked it. Thank you :)

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  6. I absolutely love your writing. I love your steady determination, you've given me hope for today. <3
    Oh and your blog background and design is beautifully ethereal.

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    1. I loved it when I received your mail last night. I'm so glad you liked what I wrote! :) Thank you really very much! :)

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  7. Determined you are. With such determination, there is no way you will fail...

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    1. Let's see, all I can say. Thank you :)

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  8. Just look at the header, I love it. Brilliant. Now your blog looks truly alive. I swear! :)

    And this post was just as beautiful as all your other posts. So inspiring, motivating!

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    1. Hey, thank you, Sonshu! I'd always wanted my header to be what it is now. I'm glad you found it good. And yes, alive.. :)

      Thank you once again! :)

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  9. i love you, stay fixed, love.

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  10. No one's perfect and we all make mistakes and fail at some point or the other. What matters is getting up and moving on with courage multiplied!

    Love :)

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  11. "Its time. I've known. I have to move. Yet I don't aspire to move on. I'll move forward."
    I was thinking the same today morning.
    Loved the post!

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  12. Who has seen the future, they say. But I know I've seen the past.
    I loved these lines. Your posts..they create pictures. It's so easy to feel what you write Aru. You're a beautiful writer :)
    The new header is lovely!

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    1. Hey, I'm so glad you loved it. :)
      And I'm glad because I met people who are so encouraging..including you! Thank you.. thank you a million! :)

      PS The header, its now exactly how I wanted it to be! :)

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    2. You deserve to be encouraged :) The header gives a very calm feeling :D

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  13. Beautiful! :)
    I absolutely love the way you've written this! It really speaks for me!

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    1. Thank you very much.. :) I'm glad it does :)

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  14. Everything has been changed? :O
    Man, I have stalked you after an eon decades. It looks cool, anyway.

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    1. Yes. Sadly you got disconnected for quite a long time. :(

      And yes, thank you.. :)

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  15. You write so beautifully.

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  16. You write very much like your favorite author!

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    1. These words brightened my mood up like anything, just so you know. :)

      I'm thankful..!

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  17. Is this a prose format of Frost’s poem, Stopping by the woods?

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    1. I don't know about the poem though, I write what I feel.

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  18. Wow...that was a neat piece of writing.

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  19. You girl....hugs....I felt as if I was reading me....xoxoxoxo you inspire me to write abstracts and not feel guilty about it....

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    1. Hugs to you too. Thank you so much for the encouragement!

      I'm glad you related with it. :)

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  20. Wow. This is a really good one.

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  21. "It takes a moment to write on that piece of paper, completely empty, that oh darling, I can do this." - loved this line..truly motivating....glad I came across your blog.

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    1. ..and I'm glad to have a new follower. Thank you. It made me smile. :)

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  22. One has to keep clinging to the phenomenon called 'HOPE' :)

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  23. who hasn't felt that ugliness? funny i mentioned courage, acknowledgement, & thirst in my other comments, before i even read this specific post.

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    1. I guess everyone has. But it doesn't get any less.

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  24. You seem extremely sad. I mean don't get me wrong or anything, but this post was pretty good, but the fact that it's true, sort of bothers me.

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Let the soul in you speak. :)

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