On courage

By -
I wake up as I feel vibrations and the alarm I'd set last night. I am alone here. It awakens and freshens me up within first two seconds. Its 2AM and its only been three hours of sleep but when I step on the floor, I don't feel I'm compromising anything. I drink a glass of chilled water and I know I want to make this last until the Sun rises. I get my things together and sit down on the floor. Without any mattress. I look at these four walls and I am now reminded of the same mood I used to be in over here a couple of years ago. Of books. And knowledge. The walls that seem nothing more than just walls now, would feel like my companions back then. With this pleasingly idle, breezy midnight and one of the best sounds of winds and leaves of the Palm tree together, I have the whole house to myself. As the sweat starts fading away, I again know I want to make this last until the morning. And I know it is going to be like this every night from now on.

Its time. I've known. I have to move. Yet I don't aspire to move on. I'll move forward. Because that's where I have fixed my gaze. Who has seen the future, they say. But I know I've seen the past. I have had my share in falling apart at times, but I am now making sure I begin to rise up again. I have let people take decisions for me, without me. I have been there, wherever it may be. I have done that, everything they may think I have. But here I am, tonight, willingly letting this night trap me at the center of a circle that is strength. Hopefully wanting to make the walls my companions over again.

I will walk in circles, of strength and courage unless and until I get on the right track. I will let the storm try to tame me and surround me with its wings only to realize someday that my arms are strong enough to break out and that I am alive enough to overcome. I've had enough of the ugliness that is the fear of failure. I've had my time looking ugly that way.

I look down and I know what I now have to do. It takes a moment to write on that piece of paper, completely empty, that oh darling, I can do this.
  

Comments

  1. ZeebsMay 26, 2012 2:56 am

    Failure is never a bad thing. Never. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I fail all the time. Seriously. It's just one less way of trying out a thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiMay 26, 2012 7:08 am

      Its not a bad thing at all, that's for sure for it implants a will to get better and better.

      Thank you, it means a lot. :)

      Delete
  2. ♥●• İzdihër •●♥May 26, 2012 3:28 am

    Never scared of failure .

    ReplyDelete
  3. OliviaMay 26, 2012 4:43 am

    This is such a beautiful text! You have an amazing gift for writing and i look forward to reading your other posts! Be assured of the strength you posses <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiMay 26, 2012 7:09 am

      Those words really encouraged me, hope you know that. :)

      Thank you so very much, I appreciate it. :)

      Delete
  4. lizMay 26, 2012 6:52 am

    This is beautifully written!
    Yes, the future may be scary, 'cause nobody knows what's gonna happen, but we all still have to live every day of our life. I wish you happiness and love, sweetie. May your days be filled with laughters. No worries, just hope and faith. :)

    You can do it,sweetie. You can live life to the fullest!♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiMay 26, 2012 7:10 am

      That was very inspiring! :) Thank you very much, Liz. I appreciate it. A lot.

      Delete
  5. ArundhatiMay 26, 2012 7:08 am

    Thank you :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. C.S.HMay 26, 2012 9:15 am

    Yes, be very aware of the strength you possess.. what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. Beautiful post!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Katie ElizabethMay 26, 2012 9:50 am

    I love the way you write. Thank you so much for sharing with us such a beautiful and insightful post.
    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  8. americaneagleloveMay 26, 2012 2:55 pm

    I absolutely love your writing. I love your steady determination, you've given me hope for today. <3
    Oh and your blog background and design is beautifully ethereal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiMay 27, 2012 8:43 am

      I loved it when I received your mail last night. I'm so glad you liked what I wrote! :) Thank you really very much! :)

      Delete
  9. quartertoinsaneMay 26, 2012 8:26 pm

    Determined you are. With such determination, there is no way you will fail...

    ReplyDelete
  10. SonshuMay 27, 2012 10:22 pm

    Just look at the header, I love it. Brilliant. Now your blog looks truly alive. I swear! :)

    And this post was just as beautiful as all your other posts. So inspiring, motivating!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiMay 27, 2012 10:50 pm

      Hey, thank you, Sonshu! I'd always wanted my header to be what it is now. I'm glad you found it good. And yes, alive.. :)

      Thank you once again! :)

      Delete
  11. hazeMay 28, 2012 7:18 pm

    i love you, stay fixed, love.

    ReplyDelete
  12. UnknownMay 28, 2012 9:20 pm

    No one's perfect and we all make mistakes and fail at some point or the other. What matters is getting up and moving on with courage multiplied!

    Love :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Red HandedMay 29, 2012 7:35 am

    "Its time. I've known. I have to move. Yet I don't aspire to move on. I'll move forward."
    I was thinking the same today morning.
    Loved the post!

    ReplyDelete
  14. PhilO♥May 29, 2012 7:49 am

    Who has seen the future, they say. But I know I've seen the past.
    I loved these lines. Your posts..they create pictures. It's so easy to feel what you write Aru. You're a beautiful writer :)
    The new header is lovely!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiMay 29, 2012 10:57 pm

      Hey, I'm so glad you loved it. :)
      And I'm glad because I met people who are so encouraging..including you! Thank you.. thank you a million! :)

      PS The header, its now exactly how I wanted it to be! :)

      Delete
    2. PhilO♥June 02, 2012 12:57 pm

      You deserve to be encouraged :) The header gives a very calm feeling :D

      Delete
    3. ArundhatiJune 19, 2012 2:24 am

      <3

      Delete
  15. Mariamma Iris May 29, 2012 8:31 am

    You're a beautiful writer!

    ReplyDelete
  16. HardiMay 29, 2012 3:42 pm

    Beautiful! :)
    I absolutely love the way you've written this! It really speaks for me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiMay 29, 2012 10:52 pm

      Thank you very much.. :) I'm glad it does :)

      Delete
  17. Z.May 29, 2012 11:04 pm

    Everything has been changed? :O
    Man, I have stalked you after an eon decades. It looks cool, anyway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiMay 30, 2012 5:55 am

      Yes. Sadly you got disconnected for quite a long time. :(

      And yes, thank you.. :)

      Delete
  18. AnonymousMay 31, 2012 8:22 am

    You write so beautifully.

    ReplyDelete
  19. nameeraJune 01, 2012 1:00 pm

    You write very much like your favorite author!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiJune 19, 2012 2:20 am

      These words brightened my mood up like anything, just so you know. :)

      I'm thankful..!

      Delete
  20. ♥●• İzdihër •●♥June 03, 2012 5:44 am

    I am in love with your writing.

    ReplyDelete
  21. deepsJune 04, 2012 12:53 am

    Is this a prose format of Frost’s poem, Stopping by the woods?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiJune 19, 2012 2:21 am

      I don't know about the poem though, I write what I feel.

      Delete
  22. RiàJune 06, 2012 2:07 am

    Wow...that was a neat piece of writing.

    ReplyDelete
  23. AnonymousJune 06, 2012 3:26 am

    You girl....hugs....I felt as if I was reading me....xoxoxoxo you inspire me to write abstracts and not feel guilty about it....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiJune 19, 2012 2:22 am

      Hugs to you too. Thank you so much for the encouragement!

      I'm glad you related with it. :)

      Delete
  24. JhanzJune 08, 2012 5:43 am

    Wow. This is a really good one.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Amrit SinhaJune 13, 2012 6:38 am

    "It takes a moment to write on that piece of paper, completely empty, that oh darling, I can do this." - loved this line..truly motivating....glad I came across your blog.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiJune 19, 2012 2:23 am

      ..and I'm glad to have a new follower. Thank you. It made me smile. :)

      Delete
  26. Lubaina E.June 22, 2012 10:19 am

    One has to keep clinging to the phenomenon called 'HOPE' :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. TeddiJuly 19, 2012 7:36 am

    who hasn't felt that ugliness? funny i mentioned courage, acknowledgement, & thirst in my other comments, before i even read this specific post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiJuly 19, 2012 10:15 pm

      I guess everyone has. But it doesn't get any less.

      Delete
  28. UrujJuly 21, 2012 2:28 pm

    You seem extremely sad. I mean don't get me wrong or anything, but this post was pretty good, but the fact that it's true, sort of bothers me.

    ReplyDelete

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