Of Moving Forward- Part I

By -

Its like a glass half filled with satisfaction. Despite the feeling of loss I'm reminded by the smallest, sometimes nonexistent of things, of the path I no longer walk. The pebbles along the way must have stuck where I'd last seen 'em for they're still there, blurry, but visible despite my standing on the edge here, very much away. Time flies, they say. It should've had taken us, the slaves of it along as it flew. But we are, somehow, still where we'd been. Still there enough to pretend the time is our companion and that we'd never do it injustice. Of cheating it and ourselves.
This is now a new path I walk. Getting used to it will soon make it old. I'll again step out of the way. And I'll continue looking back at the pebbles I believe I own at this moment. I look in the mirror more often lately. And I like what I see. I'm growing up. The clothes I wear have a different scent than before. In fact, they do have a scent over them. I open the cupboard and take out my old tee, and I promise myself not to do this often.
I lie down, looking at these walls, missing something that they may call now old. One thing leads to another and all my ears make me hear are the voices, laughter and acts of innocence I was surrounded by back then. Old voices, old times. Older the laughter, older the times. I miss them and all the adjectives fail here to explain how much. I can always go back, either carrying along or keeping aside the growth that the time has gifted me. I wonder if it'd do the same, the oldness, if only it could manipulate all that I learned. I believe the oldness left everything it had to offer over the old clothes of mine and that is the smell I sometimes I die to smell, whenever I walk the roads alone. I promise, again, not to feel this often.
It aches inside my heart to recall. It aches to admit. This ache will get old. And it'll soon hurt less. The winds blow fast tonight and I remember, with a strange feeling, that the Summer is over. Its Monsoon and I'm given opportunities to feel things cold.
I look myself in the mirror and I pretty much like what I see, despite everything.

Comments

  1. SudeshnaJune 19, 2012 2:21 am

    Moving on is painful and yet so satisfactory. You feel the changes taking place within you. This is just what I feel right now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiJuly 15, 2012 3:19 am

      It is painful if your heart still is stuck in the past. Its easy if your heart wants to go ahead.

      Delete
  2. maithiliJune 19, 2012 3:12 am

    Very beautifully penned.. moving on.. looking back on the times which make you nostalgic but you have moved on because they didn't work out..

    ReplyDelete
  3. RiàJune 19, 2012 3:28 am

    So true...moving on is one of the most difficult things to do. Beautifully expressed.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Amrit SinhaJune 19, 2012 3:54 am

    Very elegantly written...the mirror reflecting the past and present...the pebbles of pain, the scent of the memories...of loss and gain...loved this work of yours :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiJuly 15, 2012 3:21 am

      I'm glad you liked it, Green Speck! Thank you. :) :)

      Delete
  5. AVYJune 19, 2012 7:28 am

    That's the best feeling there is, after all :*

    / Avy
    http://MyMotherFuckedMickJagger.blogspot.com



    ♥

    ReplyDelete
  6. SonshuJune 19, 2012 7:41 am

    Moving on is something everyone talks about but its the hardest thing to do. Well expressed, wonderfully written.

    Love,
    Sonshu
    www.thesonshu.com

    New Post is up! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nirati June 19, 2012 8:40 am

    It is so hard. Even if you're the one who called it quits. Memories haunt you. Places do too.
    Beautifully written. Amazing A! :]

    @Tales of her and by her.
    &
    @Teenage Babblings
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  8. quartertoinsaneJune 19, 2012 10:04 am

    This feeling. Is the best. Nicely put.

    ReplyDelete
  9. ZebaJune 19, 2012 4:40 pm

    I pretty much like what I see as well. For now. Which is good enough for me. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  10. HardiJune 19, 2012 11:26 pm

    Moving on is one of those things easier said than done.

    And that was written beautifully :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. steveroniJune 20, 2012 3:33 am

    A reverie in retrospect!
    To read your words here is to become calm.
    To actually 'live' some of those thoughts is to regain peace.
    To "...pretty much like what I see, despite everything."
    is happiness. Love.

    There are many quotable lines here which I wish I had written.
    You must see that I loved your Part I Moving Forward!
    PEACE!

    OH MY! Then you ruined it all by this stupid "moderation" exercise. This will be third try for me, to publish comment. So long as you write, I will read. But so long as you moderate, I probably cannot comment. Really sorry, Peep!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiJuly 15, 2012 3:25 am

      First of all, you have no idea how much you have inspired me with this bunch of words, Steve. I'm really, really thankful! :)

      I'm glad, really glad that this interested you. And oh, sorry for the inconvenience regarding comments again.

      Hope to talk to you sometime. Peace! :)

      Delete
  12. deepsJune 20, 2012 4:53 am

    I guess such posts, emotional words, unfulfilled dreams, half reached goals, those drops and drips from the past that always lingers on in our heart can always be something we can find common in everyone and make us all stop n wonder….
    I guess, this is more a look into the past than moving forward ha? Or moving forward taking a peek to the past

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ArundhatiJuly 15, 2012 3:26 am

      Its the latter. Its natural when we take a peek into the past while moving forward. :)

      Delete
  13. DJune 21, 2012 12:31 am

    :) as long as you like what you see in the mirror

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wajiha MaryamJune 24, 2012 8:10 am

    You write beautifully:) Moving on will always have a bittersweet taste to it.

    ReplyDelete
  15. TeddiJuly 19, 2012 7:32 am

    it's hard to ignore all the voices & listen to your own. be courageous, & if you decide to walk that carpet let it be because you choose the softness, not someone else expects, puts pressure, or tries to define you.

    ReplyDelete
  16. UrujJuly 21, 2012 2:30 pm

    Pretending sometimes help. It's a weird thing, but isn't everything weird in this world?

    ReplyDelete

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