Of Moving Forward- Part I
Its like a glass half filled with satisfaction. Despite the feeling of loss I'm reminded by the smallest, sometimes nonexistent of things, of the path I no longer walk. The pebbles along the way must have stuck where I'd last seen 'em for they're still there, blurry, but visible despite my standing on the edge here, very much away. Time flies, they say. It should've had taken us, the slaves of it along as it flew. But we are, somehow, still where we'd been. Still there enough to pretend the time is our companion and that we'd never do it injustice. Of cheating it and ourselves.
This is now a new path I walk. Getting used to it will soon make it old. I'll again step out of the way. And I'll continue looking back at the pebbles I believe I own at this moment. I look in the mirror more often lately. And I like what I see. I'm growing up. The clothes I wear have a different scent than before. In fact, they do have a scent over them. I open the cupboard and take out my old tee, and I promise myself not to do this often.
I lie down, looking at these walls, missing something that they may call now old. One thing leads to another and all my ears make me hear are the voices, laughter and acts of innocence I was surrounded by back then. Old voices, old times. Older the laughter, older the times. I miss them and all the adjectives fail here to explain how much. I can always go back, either carrying along or keeping aside the growth that the time has gifted me. I wonder if it'd do the same, the oldness, if only it could manipulate all that I learned. I believe the oldness left everything it had to offer over the old clothes of mine and that is the smell I sometimes I die to smell, whenever I walk the roads alone. I promise, again, not to feel this often.
It aches inside my heart to recall. It aches to admit. This ache will get old. And it'll soon hurt less. The winds blow fast tonight and I remember, with a strange feeling, that the Summer is over. Its Monsoon and I'm given opportunities to feel things cold.
I look myself in the mirror and I pretty much like what I see, despite everything.
Moving on is painful and yet so satisfactory. You feel the changes taking place within you. This is just what I feel right now.
ReplyDeleteIt is painful if your heart still is stuck in the past. Its easy if your heart wants to go ahead.
DeleteVery beautifully penned.. moving on.. looking back on the times which make you nostalgic but you have moved on because they didn't work out..
ReplyDeleteThank you. :)
DeleteSo true...moving on is one of the most difficult things to do. Beautifully expressed.
ReplyDeleteThank you. :)
DeleteVery elegantly written...the mirror reflecting the past and present...the pebbles of pain, the scent of the memories...of loss and gain...loved this work of yours :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you liked it, Green Speck! Thank you. :) :)
DeleteThat's the best feeling there is, after all :*
ReplyDelete/ Avy
http://MyMotherFuckedMickJagger.blogspot.com
♥
Indeed, Avy. :)
DeleteMoving on is something everyone talks about but its the hardest thing to do. Well expressed, wonderfully written.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Sonshu
www.thesonshu.com
New Post is up! :)
Thank you, Sonshu. :)
DeleteIt is so hard. Even if you're the one who called it quits. Memories haunt you. Places do too.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written. Amazing A! :]
@Tales of her and by her.
&
@Teenage Babblings
xx
Thank you very much, Itarin. :)
DeleteThis feeling. Is the best. Nicely put.
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteI pretty much like what I see as well. For now. Which is good enough for me. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad for you. :)
DeleteMoving on is one of those things easier said than done.
ReplyDeleteAnd that was written beautifully :)
Yes, true.
DeleteThank you, Kiara. :)
A reverie in retrospect!
ReplyDeleteTo read your words here is to become calm.
To actually 'live' some of those thoughts is to regain peace.
To "...pretty much like what I see, despite everything."
is happiness. Love.
There are many quotable lines here which I wish I had written.
You must see that I loved your Part I Moving Forward!
PEACE!
OH MY! Then you ruined it all by this stupid "moderation" exercise. This will be third try for me, to publish comment. So long as you write, I will read. But so long as you moderate, I probably cannot comment. Really sorry, Peep!
First of all, you have no idea how much you have inspired me with this bunch of words, Steve. I'm really, really thankful! :)
DeleteI'm glad, really glad that this interested you. And oh, sorry for the inconvenience regarding comments again.
Hope to talk to you sometime. Peace! :)
I guess such posts, emotional words, unfulfilled dreams, half reached goals, those drops and drips from the past that always lingers on in our heart can always be something we can find common in everyone and make us all stop n wonder….
ReplyDeleteI guess, this is more a look into the past than moving forward ha? Or moving forward taking a peek to the past
Its the latter. Its natural when we take a peek into the past while moving forward. :)
Delete:) as long as you like what you see in the mirror
ReplyDeleteThat's what. :)
DeleteYou write beautifully:) Moving on will always have a bittersweet taste to it.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Wajiha. I hope it does. :)
Deleteit's hard to ignore all the voices & listen to your own. be courageous, & if you decide to walk that carpet let it be because you choose the softness, not someone else expects, puts pressure, or tries to define you.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, Teddi. Thank you. :)
DeletePretending sometimes help. It's a weird thing, but isn't everything weird in this world?
ReplyDelete