As I be with A, the sound of his laughter over the silly things I say and the way he speaks makes us think of things like we have kept a rear-view mirror in front of our eyes. As we sit on the floor, talking endlessly, I remember I'm doing this after what it feels like ages. The tiny little houses we see from here form an association with the things we talk about and I realize what I needed to. The usual food we make suddenly tastes better because we know we're together.
This too will pass. The oldness will cover up the time that we choose to share today. But the words will echo, making too many spaces in my life that I have emptied feel grassy again. The walls inside me have absorbed the sounds and the scent of this time just so life may fade it but it'll never go away. Sometimes the walls seem to have imaginary hands that do not let me get back, and I'm pretty sure those walls aren't always called home. The desire to peek at the places I see from the same mirror will always be there but there's not exactly a knife lingering over my heart anymore.
There are nights and there are nights when I can't help but question myself of things feeling to be floating on life that doesn't wait for anyone. As monsoon frees its arms and calls in us, the slaves of time, something stops me from doing what I always do when it rains. However, I do not need to repeat my actions if I know what happens afterwards. I do not need to go stand out in the balcony, get drenched, be happy and feel contented because the raindrops touched me. I do not need to dance in the rain to feel free, once or twice in a week. Freedom is within me.
If I were on a beach, watching people yet having none accompanying me, I'd sit with my chin placed over knees and watch the waves continuing being alive. Knowing my gaze would soon become aimless, I'd play with that sand with my eyes still fixed at the lively sea. It would slowly hipnotize me into ignoring the fear of being watched all the time and I'd fortunately get lost.
If I were on a beach, I'd make sure there's no one around, and I'd write freedom on it.