Moving Forward- Part VI

Tonight is one of those nights, one of those times when I meet a side of myself that I am habituated to keep hiding, sometimes even from myself. One of those nights when I simply know, when I have a feeling that it's going to be a sleepless night. Sleepless in a real sense. So much that an unknown energy comes in me and drags me out of bed, makes me write.

It is as if I am getting wrapped by the curtains of solitude in a dark spacious hall. A hall only to let enter some wild winds through its large glass windows, wide open, but somehow I do not hear anything apart from the scary mysterious noise of the winds from the world outside. It is either that the town is already asleep or there is nothing worth listening to, at all.
The thin layers of solitude, without the colour grey or black, surround me one after the other, making themselves feel thin and light but uncontrollable still. This is one of those times when I am able to think of this darkness around me as some rare shaded layers of light but cannot think through them. One of those times when I am thrown closer to a face of myself that has been hidden. A face of myself that, I know, will continue being hidden.

With dark grey shadows over me, I walk slowly to an illusion. And now I know, the shadows do not surround me, they are the illusions created by the unknown, playing the roll of a thin see-through wall and then it's me. At the other side. Opposite from the place I stand at. I am so close to the opposite side that I am able to see the tiny dots on a dark complexioned skin. The skin is mine. I am able to get a glimpse of those eyes, placing a thousands of stories in front me. I try getting closer and there I am, feeling so much. About every soul I connect with and the things I know. In such a depth that I would choose to drown in the ink I could have tried to write with, explaining the intensity for I know it'd still not be enough. Enough is never enough. I'll still go on.

I am still wrapped by solitude. Alone by all means tonight. And that is when, my dear, I know, solitude has its own contentment.

***

Comments

  1. solitude does have its own contentment to it...

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  2. Ah, those sleepless hours of the night, they can't keep anyone from thinking can they?

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  3. Love this bit:
    "In such a depth that I would choose to drown in the ink I could have tried to write with, explaining the intensity for I know it'd still not be enough. Enough is never enough. I'll still go on."

    Happens. Sometimes, the world seems so far away. And then one doesn't have enough words to explain the feelings. It's just.. I don't know. Weird.

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  4. I know. The colorless solitude wrapped me too. That unknown energy seeped in me too. I know.

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  5. You write about sleeplessness and late night reverie so beautifully...

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  6. Solitude has its own contentment.
    Couldn't Love the ending more.
    Its when we are completely devoid of company that our deepest thoughts ooze out through the pores of our skins and create a post as beautiful as this:)

    ❤Not Just My Allegories❤

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  7. Loved the feeling of solitude .... awesome work !!!

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  8. U made everyone desire solitude :)

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  9. Though it may be painful and lonely sometimes.. Solitude can also be very peaceful and very beautiful if we learn how to embrace it so that it doesn't control us or swallow us whole. Very well written. It was beautiful!

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  10. Nothing is ever enough in life, it's as if reality never comes close to the dreams we have, but still we hope for a better future. Thank you for the sweet words, love you too.


    /Avy

    http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com


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  11. Loved this post! I have those nights all the time as well! xxo

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  12. How beautiful a soliloquy on solitude you write!
    I am SO happy for you, that it is not ISOLATION which is the topic.

    BTW, usually I dislike those sparkly trails left by a mouse tracking...but yours are so subtle, they even have a calming affect--or is it the fact that it is 1:15 AM. Getting up at 4:30, for early ride start this morning

    Thank you for lovely, undeserved comment on 4th Dimension. Sure sounded good to me--grin!
    PEACE!
    Steve E

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  13. Solitude and uncertainty are two beautiful things that people don't understand. When they do, life is bliss.

    Awesome post, loved it! :)

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  14. wow def a felt piece....the darkness being layers of light...of my face that is hidden...and the solitude....felt for sure...being alone does not always have to mean being alone, you know...

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  15. Solitude should be embraced sometimes but with the known fact that like everything this too shall pass

    ♡♡

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  16. such deep thoughts..solitude is strangest feeling..we may might be in a crowd of millions yet be alone and we might be alone and yet among the plethora of thoughts!

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