Yes, I'll cherish.

By -
Within last two weeks, I came here often, with thousands of thoughts in mind- wavy, talking each other out of complicating themselves and finally solving each other's mess, to help me write for there are few ways to communicate in.

I hesitated to write despite visiting this place, because I brought along a decision whenever I came here. I cannot weave hundreds of words just to make it big, the decision that I have with me. I have chills getting over my hands as I write this. This is supposedly the last page that I'd be posting here. In other words, I'm putting an end to this place, shutting the doors. There is a reason behind this, of course there is.

I don't ask you to understand it, surely you can't and it's okay. I wrote here the words that I never abandoned and trust me, I'm not abandoning anything even now. I just need to shut these doors for there's something else that's waiting for me to open it, to go for it.

The love that I received from you was wonderful and it somehow kept me going. I can't, never, put in words how I love this place. Since I..

***
No, I can't. I can't put an end to what's here. Above was what I was going to post today, thinking of the need to simply leave this place. But it turns out that I'm not able to. And if I do, it'll be a regret that'd live longer than me. That is, forever. And I can't have it to increase the weight of the load on my shoulders. This is the kind of failure- of ending something beautiful- that I'd cherish forever rather than the possible regret. And the only way to remember is to publish it and not let it rest in drafts. Instead, I'll try opening my windows, once again.

Comments

  1. GhadeerJanuary 10, 2013 6:42 am

    I'm glad you couldn't find yourself to do it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LuLuJanuary 10, 2013 7:04 am

    Well, I'm glad you're still around. Especially today.

    But if there's a calling again in the future, and you think it's the right thing to do.. leaving this place... I'm sure we'd all forgive you. ;)

    xx
    Lulu
    Breakfast After 10

    ReplyDelete
  3. RoseJanuary 10, 2013 2:05 pm

    I'm glad that you'll be staying with us. We love you darling <3 you write beautifully.
    I'd miss you terribly.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. lizJanuary 10, 2013 2:47 pm

    I'm so happy you changed your mind. You have no idea how your words affect us,your readers. You are such a gifted writer and your posts inspire us. But then, if you feel like you need to leave so you could do the things you need to do, then we'll understand. Do what's best for you,sweetie. Just don't ever forget that you are loved.

    Kisses,
    Liz

    ReplyDelete
  5. HardiJanuary 10, 2013 9:30 pm

    The entire time I was just saying NO, NO in my head... Well until the end at least.

    We think we need to close one door and open another to start afresh, but sometimes we mustn't rush and should simply wait instead.

    It is alright to take a break from writing, maybe only for a while. But I am glad that you chose not to leave this place. :)

    Take your time

    ReplyDelete
  6. JackJanuary 11, 2013 5:09 am

    I do I do,

    Did not visit for a few days and had to catch up with 3 pending posts. Please do keep in mind that one who leaves is not meant for you as he has not realized your true value. One must keep faith and have confidence in self. Wish you a very Safe and Happy 2013. And I was so shocked when you said you are shutting this, but Thank God that you have rethought and will continue. Please never ever think of absconding from here.

    Take care

    ReplyDelete
  7. Confused SoulJanuary 11, 2013 10:42 am

    Oh god...as I read those first few words, i remembered how I'd felt the same way.. Although we all have our reasons, quitting isn't the right way..I'm glad you're aren't leaving.. You know I love you & your words..

    Neither can be abandoned.. Stay strong! :)

    ReplyDelete

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