To Japan 1.2

By -

My dearest Miyage,

I hope this letter finds you well and feeling better than before. I have a confession to make today in this letter.

Yesterday when I sat in the boat at the riverside, the winds were sounding furious, quite unusual for the village that I live in. The climate drastically changes when two seasons overlap each other. I seem to be taking comfort spending time in the boat even more than I used to before, because here I am not disturbed by anyone. Nature has its own way of calming one’s soul. Do not worry, I am not distracted by anything. My confession, the realization occurred to me in the same situation yesterday. Sitting there, I had this fear of failing to make you all right, to get you past your weak health phase. Miyage, am I failing?

You can be honest. One thing I am so assured of is the honesty that we share. I almost cursed myself a thousand times for not being available at your place. I’ve only been there through the pictures you shared with me, and I terribly wish I was present physically to take care of you in such a time. Did you not ever feel like calling me over? You had the right. You still do. Why didn’t you rightfully say to me how I should have arranged either for myself or you to cross this distance between us? Why didn’t I try harder?

I feel utterly down, I so wish to be there at this moment. I regret not making the decision earlier. Please recover, Miyage. We still need more letters. I want to make it happen, I want to cover this distance and finally get to meet you. I have a dozen of boxes filled with your letters. The way your handwriting starts looking lazy in the last few letters, I get terrified, paranoid even, of unspeakable what ifs that lie between until I receive one more letter from you. That fear is there.

The little hope that I get is from the school kids. They always think everything is possible and their optimism is appreciable. I am trying to make new ways work out and no, Miyage, I can’t wait any longer. The distance has to disappear into thin air.

Apart from this, I am doing fine. I am fine.


Yours truly,

Snehmoy.

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