Like the Sun doesn't mind, can't mind letting its light accompany it like an inseparable part of it every time it arises, I don't mind this emotion filling me physically, emotionally. My lungs, veins, cells and my brown skin. My thoughts, dreams and fears and flaws. I am not the Sun, but I wonder whether its burning that spreads the light, that uncontrollably gentle and dominating light all over the floor and the air of this universe, is strong and pure enough to enter one's soul.
I remember how unstable I used to get because of one specific source. No, I don't blame the source, I wonder if I failed to grab the beauty, the positivity as much as instability I possibly got. But I can't wonder much. I don't. I've probably come farther than the path where I would've had asked for assurance, security around something inside my body that constantly beats. From the path I wouldn't have had chosen in the first place.
Like another inseparable thing, there is this unusual feeling I feel for having come this far. Perhaps, I haven't come far. I haven't gone far. But the time is certain today, at this moment that I'm not where I was yesterday, where I was a moment that just passed.
I seem to know where I may land up. And for quite some time, the seeming-to-know thing comforts more. From here, the view I get is without negativeness. I don't see colourful flowers everywhere but I do see yellow roses and the winds blowing softly. I don't want to keep quiet, rather, I'm willing to let millions, billions of words out and invent my own ones too. I can't remain in those Grey-Blue skies anymore, I want to stand over this flat green ground that makes me feel real and sing songs with as much intensity as possible and feel I'm above the breeze.
Perhaps, I'm moving backwards. To where I've always been. Where I had come away from. To who I really was. Or to the thoughts of who I was.
I can't seem to find out the age of my soul though I know how old I am.