Revolution- Part II

I'll be lying if I say I care. I don't. I don't care how many new emotions I meet as long as emptiness fills me. Should I? 

Like the Sun doesn't mind, can't mind letting its light accompany it like an inseparable part of it every time it arises, I don't mind this emotion filling me physically, emotionally. My lungs, veins, cells and my brown skin. My thoughts, dreams and fears and flaws. I am not the Sun, but I wonder whether its burning that spreads the light, that uncontrollably gentle and dominating light all over the floor and the air of this universe, is strong and pure enough to enter one's soul.

I remember how unstable I used to get because of one specific source. No, I don't blame the source, I wonder if I failed to grab the beauty, the positivity as much as instability I possibly got. But I can't wonder much. I don't. I've probably come farther than the path where I would've had asked for assurance, security around something inside my body that constantly beats. From the path I wouldn't have had chosen in the first place.
Like another inseparable thing, there is this unusual feeling I feel for having come this far. Perhaps, I haven't come far. I haven't gone far. But the time is certain today, at this moment that I'm not where I was yesterday, where I was a moment that just passed.

I seem to know where I may land up. And for quite some time, the seeming-to-know thing comforts more. From here, the view I get is without negativeness. I don't see colourful flowers everywhere but I do see yellow roses and the winds blowing softly. I don't want to keep quiet, rather, I'm willing to let millions, billions of words out and invent my own ones too. I can't remain in those Grey-Blue skies anymore, I want to stand over this flat green ground that makes me feel real and sing songs with as much intensity as possible and feel I'm above the breeze.

Perhaps, I'm moving backwards. To where I've always been. Where I had come away from. To who I really was. Or to the thoughts of who I was.
I can't seem to find out the age of my soul though I know how old I am. 

Comments

  1. :(

    I love the way you write, keep writing you talented girl!
    <3

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  2. You are really lovely! You seem to find all the right words to say, speaking your mind out is all that matters. xx

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    1. Your words matter, Haze. Like always. Thank you. :)

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  3. The first paragraph reminded me of my own feelings about emptiness. I think I even posted about it once. **I like emptiness. The most! Yes, its my favorite emotion, if you think it qualifies as an emotion at all. Its not bright hued, incarnadine and crimson like joy, sorrow, love or cobalt and jaded and faded like sorrow, misery, faithlessness. It has all the tints and pigments I ever saw the world in and none at all. Today, it shimmers through the edges of your smile, another day it dies a slow death around your tears. Its all encompassing and yet contains one thing, yes, nothing. Emptiness, I like it the most.
    Sorry, I just felt like reposting it. Its amazing how it connects to your text in a parallel way. :]
    And its a strange struggle between stability and instability.
    You write in a strange, beautiful manner and i connect to it and see a reflection of my own sentiments SO often. Are you amazing or what? Keep writing ^_^

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    1. Yes, I'd read it.. and definitely had formed an association with it. And I don't mind you reposting anything. :)

      The struggle is strange, yes, and it never stops.

      Thank you so much for your kind and honest words.. I'm glad you connect to it this often.. Am I amazing? That's up to you to decide! ;)

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  4. It was written in such a beautiful manner.
    "Perhaps, I haven't come far. I haven't gone far. But the time is certain today, at this moment that I'm not where I was yesterday, where I was a moment that just passed."

    So simple and yet in such a beautiful manner. Loved it.
    Keep the talent alive. :)

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    1. We all know simplicity never dies.

      Thank you so much.. :)

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  5. :-) Ahh this one was beautiful..

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  6. Reading this really felt as if it was your soul speaking :)
    You're seriously a wonderful writer :)

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    1. Thank you, Philo. I'm glad you liked what I wrote! :)

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  7. Yeah, that sort of loneliness is the worst (in reply to your comment in my blog).
    I sympathise with this post. It reminds me a lot of myself. Keep up. :)

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  8. I loved your post so much!! Such deep emotions! You are a wonderful writer. :)

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  9. oh this was beautiful, your writing, your soul. this corresponds so well with how i was feeling today, a young body with a soul inside of me that feels too old and too heavy to connect sometimes..

    thank your for sharing your precious thoughts!

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    1. Loulou, I'm really glad you connected with it this well. You'll always be young if you feel so. :) Matter of point of view, you know?

      Thanks to you too. :)

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  10. This is genuinely excellent writing. You made your soul speak through the words.
    I like this line- "Like another inseparable thing, there is this unusual feeling I feel for having come this far. Perhaps, I haven't come far. I haven't gone far."
    You are a seriously good writer. Glad to find you :)

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    1. Such words inspire me a lot, I hope readers like you know it. :)
      Thank you really very much.. :)

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  11. it looks like things are changing...
    good job.. :)

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  12. *speechless*
    Very few writings touch me so much..
    This one is there right at the top :) :)

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    1. Oh.. thank you, thank you very very much :) I'm glad you liked it!

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  13. And it was with these Revolution series that your writing saw a transformation. Beautifully expressed! :)

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